Why is Coachella the New Spring Break?

Why is Coachella the New Spring Break?

Coachella girl getting wet
Honestly, I think I could tell you only one band that played Coachella this Spring Break and it was The Replacements who got a lot of cash to play songs from the 90’s. I can’t imagine one kid under 40 30 knew a single tune unless they brought their parents with them. I know this because my friend Andy posted a photo of them. He was actually working the event bringing grilled cheeses to the masses (probably) working 14 hour days having fun watching all the “space cadets”.

I totally had forgotten about this music festival and since I’m a real music fans I was just waiting to find my domestic break during the day so I could race to the nearest record store on Record Store Day. Sorry your loss kids but I don’t think you care about collecting records at all. I’m pretty sure CHVCHRES had a select release and bunch of other groups playing the event but none of them will own a physical copy. Their cool friends who actually like music might though. Twitter also reminded me of all the fun. I saw lots of ass photos (#ASSCHELLA) on the Vice blog called Noisy and useless articles about what people were wearing or not wearing, the different type of freaks, bro gangs and what the bitches were going to see. I have no idea who Haim is and apparently Pharrell is still wearing the same dumb hat even in that 96 degree heat.

Pharrell's Stupid Hat on twitter

I kind of liked it when all those kids went down to Florida or Mexico and they didn’t really make a mess of music festivals. Drank the light beer and twerked before it was a thing. The line-ups are all over the place and not that I’m organizing freak with my sub-genres or anything but Coachella is a mess of a “music festival”. I am glad nobody died like at SXSW this past year in Austin (that I heard of) smashing their car drunk into people –that was horrible. The masses of suckers going to these bloated events pay the really high-ticket prices more than likely because their parents forked over the dough. Not sure anybody noticed but the cost of entry goes up every year even as it’s off set by brands buying their way into the youth market. But alas this is some college kid’s Woodstock or Lollapalooza except they mostly listen to EDM (Electronic Dance Music). I totally have a problem with EDM. Hate me but there are no lyrics to most of the tunes right? It’s fabricated music unlike classic hip-hop which I have the most respect for. You’ll never be able tell me I really love it when they click play during that part and mix in this other part and we all jump up and down. You know with the keyboard thing? Impossible to describe and I suppose something you must experience completely live as you jump to the thumping in unison. Unlike if I say two simple words like “Jane Says” –You will probably sing the whole song from start to finish. See what I mean?

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Best Butts Asschella Bikinis
I love T&A hanging out of frayed denim shorts as much as the next straight guy but music needs substance. At the same time I know the general youth consumer needs to be entertained. Millennials get bored way to quickly these days. Truth be told through lies; it’s more fun to watch them make asses of them themselves from the side because that tattoo they got will need to be covered one day and I hear they have better drugs that we did in the 90’s. Hell even Burning Man has it’s own zip code(89412)! The more you know.

What was your experience at Coachella, pitchfork or SXSW etc? Lets us know in the comments and like this article on facebook!